22 Taking the kids home
Posted on: September 24, 2009
After court was over my dad and I drove back to our family farmhouse. We had to make arrangements to pick them up from the foster parents. In the meantime, the rain was pouring down in bucketfuls. I didn’t think we would get down our road due to all the flooding. It was touch and go. But we finally managed to get out of the flood zone. We got our kids and started heading off to Ohio. My dad drove the van while I rode in the backseat with my kids. My kids. We were going to meet Joe and my mom about a half hour away from our house. That way Joe and I could drive our kids to their new home together.
Mom and Joe had been cleaning up our house and preparing for the kids arrival. They got a nice welcome home sign put up for them. I could hardly wait to get the kids there. This was the beginning of a whole new life.
21 Our day in court…finally
Posted on: September 23, 2009
Well, after a coulple hour delay we did get our day in court. I sat there with my dad. We saw the mother of my children for the first and last time. I couldn’t really tell you what was said. I sat there in utter confusion. I just heard a lot of legal mumbo jumbo. Even after we were granted custody I was still confused. We had to actually have Brooke tell us that the children were now ours. For a brief moment I actually felt sorry for their biological mother. But what she must have done (or not done) to lose custody of her children not once, not twice, but three times really makes my blood boil.
So, suddenly I was a mother of 4. WOW!!!
20 The Court Date
Posted on: September 21, 2009
First I must apologize for the great delay since my last blog. Alex was in the hospital with viral menengitis. It was a pretty rough time. But it was even harder to come back home and deal with the rest of the kids and Alex too. And it was all right before school started. I was very out of sorts. But anyhow…
Our court date was finally set. We took time off of work and headed down to WV. Fortunately it was around Labor Day so we were going to be down there anyhow. But we had to plan an extended stay to go to the court hearing. Mom and Dad were down there with us as well. And then they changed the date again. But as I recall it was just by a day or two. From what I can remember (I am known for having a bad memory unless it’s a phone number) Joe and my mom had to go back home due to lack of vacation days. So my dad and I stayed down for the court hearing.
The day finally came. Dad and I headed off for court, something I thought I would be doing with Joe. We met up with Brooke. We got to the court house and found out that some things had changed. Don’t you just love our legal system? This time it was just a couple of hours of delay. That I could handle – almost. Would we ever get our day in court?
19 The Summer Visits
Posted on: August 20, 2009
As we continued our visits throughout the summer we discovered that the kids were always full energy. We also discovered they are very creative. One time they gave Joe a makeover. Another time they spent hours happily playing with a piece of rope and a couple tree stumps.
We tried to make the trip down to see them every other weekend. It wasn’t always easy. We had to make arrangements with the foster mom and Brooke since one of them had to be with us at all times. And then there was the 5 hour drive (each way). And with the work schedules we would often be down there for just a day and a half. On top of that we were still waiting for the mother’s last court date to be set. We were constantly reassured that we would be granted custody of the kids but their are no real guarantees. We were on pins and needles.
We drove from Ohio to West Virginia to meet our children-to-be. We were as excited as a turkey the day after Thanksgiving.
I should now take a moment to mention a couple pieces of irony about our case. As I mentioned, we are from Ohio. My grandma was born in West Virginia and my family still owns the farm where she grew up. We usually go there a couple times a year for a vacation. So, it was quite ironic that these children were not only from West Virginia but they were from a neighboring county. One might say they were in spittin’ distance from our place down there. The other piece of irony is how these children were supposedly found. Our adoption agency said that we found the kids. But we don’t recall having ever seen them before. So how we got matched with them is a mystery.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…
We arrived at our family farm in West Virginia. We would be meeting our social worker, Brooke, in the morning. From there we would travel to meet the kids at the foster parents’ house. When we arrived there the kids were bouncing off the walls. At first there was some confusion and they called Brooke “mom”. Soon they figured out who “mom” and “dad” were. They proceeded to climb all over us. Instead of a “jungle jim” there was a “jungle joe.” We should have run. But we didn’t.
17 Skipping ahead
Posted on: August 11, 2009
I am going to skip ahead to a “day in my life.” I will return to the story of adoption before long.
When I get up in the morning I prepare myself. I prepare myself for fighting, biting, yelling, scratching, screaming, and hitting. It’s not me doing these things. The worst part of my morning is usually Michael. Michael has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). So there is that period of time every morning when Michael’s medicine has not kicked in yet. He picks fights with his sister. He bounces off the walls. He fights with me. He pesters everything and everyone. He can’t sit still or shut up. I can’t stand it. And Jean also had ADHD and ODD. She can’t even stand having Michael looking at her in the morning. And those are the two kids that are around each other the most. I REALLY hate the morning.
16 The meeting has been scheduled
Posted on: August 10, 2009
So now we are officially matched with Ann, Alex, Jean, and Michael. As we are getting prepared to meet our new children we are told there is a glitch. Some attorney in the law office representing “the mother” has passed away. So, they have rescheduled the final hearing that would completely release the children from their mother’s custody. The way I understand it is they remove the children from their biological parent(s) three times before the parent(s) lose custody for good. So their mother was on her final appeal. But now everything has been delayed. So instead of traveling to get our children we are now traveling to meet them. This was in June of 2003. This meeting them continued throughout the entire summer. And on top of that we had to have supervised visits. So this meant one of the foster parents had to hang out with us or our social worker – Brooke. Although we didn’t like the inconvenience of it all we were very fortunate that both the foster mother and Brooke were very nice people. A matter of fact Brooke spent a lot of her summer rearranging her schedule to fit with our needs.
We could hardly wait for the first meeting.
15 A bit more info
Posted on: August 5, 2009
After reading the descriptions of the four kids Joe and I were very excited. There were so many others with such extreme problems. It made these kids sound like a walk in the park. And we were still encouraged we received even more info.
Ann has a very good daily routine. She rises easily for school without complaint. She also eats and drinks well and does not complain about foods. She loves pizza, hot dogs, and macaroni & cheese. Ann has a very bubbly and sweet personality. She is an active and energetic little girl with a wide smile. She is described as a “good kid” by her foster mother. She is also talkative and inquisitive and very friendly.
Alex is content to sit and draw or color by herself, more than any of her siblings. However, she often does get caught up in the hyperactivity of her siblings and can be quite active herself. Alex comments that she likes to read and likes math in school. Alex loves hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. She has a very sweet and bubbly personality. She is a talkative and bubbly child with a beautiful smile and has cute little freckles across her nose. Her face lights up when she laughs and she is a very easy child to talk to.
Jean has a sweet personality. She is very loving and needs a lot of attention. She may need a lot of assurance and affection. She is very sweet natured and kind child that has a lot of love to give.
Michael is very mischievous and curious, which is often a sign that a child is learning about their environment. He is a good eater as well and he loves eggs and bacon, but hates pancakes. Michael is a very mischievous and active child who loves to run and play. He sometimes gives his sisters a hard time, like many little brothers, but in general they play well together. He is a very inquisitive and funny child and loves to play and watch television.
So, what’s not to love? Right?
14 Without further ado…
Posted on: August 5, 2009
When Joe & I got the fax with the information about our sibling group of 4, here is what it said:
These four siblings are very close to one another and are to be placed together. Their family should be willing to provide these children with love, patience, and understanding.
Ann is a wonderful little girl with a bright smile and cheerful eyes. She enjoys being outside, going camping and spending time with her friends and family. Ann is extremely close to her brother and sisters, and tends to parent and comfort them. She has been diagnosed with mild ADHD but currently does not need medications. She has a mild learning disability and attends Special Education classes. With love and support, she continues to thrive and mature into a young lady who is full of potential for a bright future.
Alex is a cute little girl with a mischievous grin and has freckles dotting her nose. She is best described as being easy-going, quiet-natured and able to “Go with the flow.” She enjoys a variety of activities, from riding her bike and climbing to coloring and drawing quietly. Alex attends regular classes at school but will need extra help with her school work. She is a delight in her current home.
Jean is a very creative little girl who loves to color and draw. She has a friendly smile that can brighten an entire room. Although she was prone to temper tantrums, she has continued to make progress in this area.
Michael is a very energetic little boy with the…(part of it did not print out). Michael has been described as being sweet-natured but also having an ornery side. A very easy-going child, Michael gets along well with anyone.
It all sounds as w0nderful as an ice cold drink of water on a 93 degree summer day.
Don’t forget to check under the hood.
13 Desperation = 4 Kids
Posted on: August 3, 2009
So, it was now March of 2003. Joe and I have been married for almost 6 years. So, that is about 5 1/2 years of trying to make a baby (never give up – never surrender). We are still “shopping around” for a child(ren) to adopt. We kept looking at different sites on the internet as well as receiving different options from our adoption agency. And then Joe gets a phone call. He calls me at work to tell me that we have been matched with a sibling group of 4. There were 3 girls and a boy. The oldest girl, Ann, was 8. The next youngest girl was 7. Her name was Alex(andria). Then there was Jean, she was 4. And finally, Michael who was 3. I was going to get my little girl(s) and Joe was content that there was one boy in the bunch. We got their information faxed over to us. They sounded like fairly normal children. So, we said YES! (Don’t forget to check under the hood.)
Never Ask Why - Life With 6 Kids 
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